Don't make assumptions. Every case is different; some children placed in care are in the process of reunifying with their biological families, while others are available for adoption. Be thoughtful about the questions you ask, especially in front of the kids. Cases are always complicated, and foster parents are limited in the information they are allowed to share.
One of the best ways to support foster families is to offer mom and dad a day off or a date night out. Most foster parents don't like to ask for help or are simply weary from the constant coordination required by foster care, so the most appreciated help is offered assertively. (Instead of saying, “I'd be happy to help, just let me know when,” try something like, “I'd like to give you a night off. I'm available on these three dates—do any of those work for you?” or “I'd like to provide respite. What's an event you have coming up that I can cover childcare for?”) Anyone providing childcare must be screened, but the process is very quick and simple—usually just texting a picture of your ID to a caseworker for approval.
If you have access to free tickets to shows, sporting events, waterparks, etc., that you can share, families appreciate the quality time and the opportunity for their foster children to explore and enjoy new experiences.
Just like when a family has a new baby, the arrival of a new placement is a stressful and busy time. Foster care usually involves a lot of driving, paperwork, phone calls, and many doctor and therapy appointments, in addition to family visits. Simply offering to bring a meal can be a much-appreciated show of support. Ask families ahead of time what kinds of food their foster children will enjoy, as unfamiliar foods can often be a stress trigger.
Hair care can be a struggle for some families receiving children with different hair textures. Offering to do hairstyles or teach a parent how to care for the child's hair can be a very helpful way to ease the transition.
Genuinely check in with foster families to see how they are doing. Hold space for them and offer encouragement when needed.
Give constant reassurance of their value and worth! Make a point to learn their names and engage them in conversation.
Offer free tutoring to foster children; most are behind in school and have not received adequate support.
Offer coaching skills such as swim lessons, art lessons, basketball drills, etc.
Mentor a child. The positive messages foster parents are communicating are most effective when reinforced by other role models. White families fostering Black children often express a specific need for Black adults to serve as mentors.
Donate clothes, shoes, and toiletries to the Park West Foundation.
Help connect them to after-school programs and sports they are interested in.
Assist with transportation to extracurricular activities, sibling visits, therapy, and parenting time. (A background check is required beforehand.)
Spend one-on-one time with them. Simply listen, be curious about their interests, offer a safe space, and do something fun together.
Contact a Foster Agency to learn more. Here are a few we recommend: